Fuck me.
I know Boys Like Girls weren’t exactly Hatebreed in disguise in the first place, but this record has Taylor-fucking-Swift doing a ‘duet’. It has the shiniest, slipperiest, shittest production I have ever heard on an album. It’s so fucking sugar-coated I do a sick in my mouth every time the singer opens his mouth. ‘Someone Like You’? More like ‘Someone put a gun in that singer’s mouth and pull the fucking trigger. Please’.
OK, so let’s dissect. On the last record BLG sold a fuckload of records on the back of writing a really fun pop-rock record. Underneath the ‘rock’ image was basically a pop band, but they played live with a swagger and had a clutch of really catchy singles. ‘The Great Escape’, ‘Hero/Heroine’ and ‘Thunder’ are pretty good tunes. It was undeniable that they were a major label band with a foot in the pop and the pop-rock market, but they managed to get the mix about right. Millions of albums later and they’re playing arenas, festivals and have major, major mainstream support.
So I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that ‘Love Drunk’ is absolutely horrible. Everything about this record stinks. From the album title itself, right through to the vocals – the guy sounds totally different on this record. Auto-tune? Fuck, this time round you’ve got every vocal effect in the sun thrown in at the very same time. ‘Heart Heart Heartbreaker’ makes Cher’s vocoder “talents” sound amazing. ‘Two Is Better Than One’ is the schmaltziest, most offensive song I’ve heard in ages. The fact that Taylor Swift sings on it doesn’t really offend me, more rams home the fact this band quite clearly only care about chart success. Oh, the song sucks by the way.
‘Real Thing’ sounds like A-ha with fake handclaps and this horrible faux-80s keyboard that sprinkles through the background. It’s just awful. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by Boys Like Girls‘ descent into the tween pop market, but I didn’t think the album would be quite this bad. Put it this way – the self-titled album sounds like Cradle of Filth compared to this bilge.