Patent Pending – ‘Armageddon’

By Chris Hilson

Having recently signed to Rude Records, ‘Armageddon’ is Patent Pending’s first release for the label and another step forward in their career. First of all however, a few words of warning; exactly how much you will enjoy ‘Armageddon’ hinges on your taste for songs so sugary sweet you’ll end up with a mouth full of cavities. That’s not to say that ‘Armageddon’ is a guaranteed no-go for fans of emotional heart-on-the-sleeve punk, however those with a preference for cartoonish riffs and a sense of humour in their music are likely to find this EP a much more enjoyable listen.

With that disclaimer out of the way, ‘Too Much To Think’ comes pogoing into view in an explosion of colourful synths and bold pop-punk riffs. Seemingly taking its cue from the Bowling For Soup school of song-writing it’s the tongue-in-cheek lyrics, which are variously sung, spoken, and delivered in a cheerleader-style chant, that make it such a fun track.‘Tick Tick Boom’ carries on in a similar vein, squeezing as many melodic hooks into three minutes as possible, whereas ‘The Way I See It’ is so lightweight it makes Simple Plan sound like Slayer.

By this point, chances are you will find ‘Armageddon’ either grin-inducingly fun or teeth-grindingly immature and there’s nothing about the rest of the tracks that will change your mind, particularly as Patent Pending gleefully head into full-on auto-tuned pop territory with ‘Brighter’. Insanely catchy and instantly disposable, it should be the song to help settle any doubts over whether or not you’ll become a Patent Pending fan.

That honour however, goes to the aptly titled ‘We’re Getting Weird’. A riot of different genres and Sum 41 style pseudo-rapping, it’s lyrics are nothing but a list of popular culture references with Donkey Kong, Vince Vaughn, Beyonce and Jurassic Park all getting mentions. Somehow Patent Pending find the room to throw in multiple key changes and a deliberately OTT guitar solo in a track that turns the quirkiness firmly up to 11 and then some.

Is ‘Armageddon’ a case of style over substance? Absolutely. The quirkiness may reach almost unbearable levels, but somehow it never feels contrived. ‘Armageddon’ may be silly and disposable with lyrics as deep as a puddle, but sometimes all you want is a bunch of fun songs to bounce around to and nothing more, and in that respect Patent Pending have absolutely nailed it.

CHRIS HILSON

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