A siren and spoken word introduce ‘My Labia’s Lopsided, but I Don’t Mind’. A shocking song title? Not really – this is the sort of thing women talk about. Sultry and seductive but fun and full of attitude, it serves as a reminder that sexy doesn’t mean perfect and why should we give a fuck if our bodies aren’t what a brainwashed expectation of women says they should be.
We’ve come a long way in feminism, but we’ve still got a long, long way to go. The Baby Seals stick two fingers up to expectations and notions of femininity and their self-titled EP is a reminder that equal rights are staggeringly important, because some of the shit that people argue about is entirely stupid.
‘Nipple Hair’ raises the importance of being able to make your own decisions (“choosing smooth is cool but you still have choices”) but pokes fun at how ridiculous worrying about body hair is in the first place (“na na na nipple hair / we don’t fucking care”). ‘Guuurrrrl’ harks back to ‘90s riot grrrl attitudes and crashing cymbals and shouting vocals add to the grungy sound.
‘Yawn Porn’ is – you guessed it – about how boring porn is for women and the predictability of the ‘money shot’. It’s not a family friendly chorus, but maybe we should start playing it in schools as an alternative method of sex education. The fuzzy bassline and powdery vocals make for an engaging, bouncy punk sound.
‘Period Drama’ (great pun, by the way) is an honest explanation of the boring but stressful logistics of being on your period. There are plenty of songs about everything else in the world, so why not something that happens to half of the world’s population? It never sounds unnecessarily showy and doesn’t try to be gross or shocking; it’s just a track about a normal part of everyday life.
‘It’s Not About The Money Honey’ slows down the pace and is a couple of minutes longer than the other tracks, ensuring the repeated “we just want the same” is a sentiment you won’t forget. The Baby Seals have one of the cutest band names possible but their music is unrelated. What makes it special is the voice it gives to women and, aside from the bigger issues, the day to day aspects of their lives. Stick it on, laugh and enjoy.
KATHRYN BLACK