The debut EP by London’s Turbogeist is a curate’s egg, the sound of a band suffering from an identity crisis. They don’t know whether to be a punk band, a garage band, a trash band, even a scuzzy glam band, and they try each valiantly but sadly don’t excel as any, so ultimately just sound like a mess. One suspects Turbogeist like to think their influences extend to The Cramps and Killing Joke and Poison Idea and even Motorhead, but this is closer to Towers Of London, and that’s about as harsh as it’s possible to be in a record review.
The band are led by Jimmy Jagger, son of Mick, occasionally going by the name Jimbo Mutant Shinobi, apparently. And he’s got a decent set of pipes on him, he really can yelp! The problem is his yelp changes completely in every song! He’s Hank von Helvete; no, he’s Milo Aukerman; actually, he’s Frank Carter. One moment Turbogeist are Glenn Danzig-era Misfits (‘Mermaid’s Revenge’), the next they’re Turbonegro (‘Black Hole’), then the Descendents (‘Up Front’), then Gallows (‘Rats’). They can’t even make their minds up who they want to rip-off! ‘Zero Friends’ is the band’s only original-sounding moment but, alas, the worst track here.
Variety in any release is all well and good, the problem is Turbogeist have so little of their own to offer, not on this evidence anyway. They have none of the originality, invention or wit of the bands they’re imitating. Try Trash Talk, Pulled Apart By Horses, Queens Of The Stone-Age, or Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster instead. Being influenced by great bands is understandable, to be expected even, but this is clumsy and lazy, technically competent but totally uninspired, like a pub band doing a covers set. Their full-length album is apparently already done and raring to go – but will it include those classic early Turbogeist songs Monster Pussy and Devil’s Dick? Golly, I hope so! They say God loves a trier, but if there’s one think he hates it’s overblown yet insipid faux-punk. That’s one of the gospels, isn’t it? The revival does not start here, thank Christ.
ANDREW REVIS